“You will meet her at the right time in your life. Both of you have traveled and lived countless lives together, each time learning in rich quantities,” Eight explained.
“Like my soul mate?” I asked.
I had heard that term in movies and conversations with other friends in high school but I truly never gave it much thought. If anything my mentality and experience was to have as much sex with as many women as possible. I was 17 years old and everything that I had learned up to that point from my father and from my male friends was just that, you’re a male therefore each vagina you penetrate is a trophy on your mantle.
I tried my best to be faithful to Sylvia, the mother to my son. The reality was that I would give into my sexual desires every time and then accept it as my truth. “Well I am my father’s son,” I would tell myself.
As it is, a week earlier before we visited my father so he could meet our newborn baby, while in school, Sylvia came marching towards me with a girl tied to her hand.
“Is it true? Are you hooking up with her?” Sylvia yelled.
I found myself reenacting my father’s footsteps and behavior – I lied.
“I do not know who this girl is, what are you talking about?” I said as I looked at the girl with desperate eyes to keep her mouth shut.
Sylvia looked at her then she looked at me. All I remember is Sylvia punching me square in the face and tackling me to the floor.
As I thought about this experience an epiphany unfolded - It was all too familiar. I was asking for the same violence, mental and physical abuse I would see my parents go through growing up.
I came out of my mental thoughts and memory and asked, “So I won’t be with Sylvia in the future?”
“Why wouldn’t you be?” Eight asked.
“Because you’re essentially saying I will meet my soul mate in the future,” I said.
“Why does it have to be sexual or physical? A soul mate could be a close spiritual ally and nothing more,” Eight explained with a smile.
I was starting to understand that I had my perspective twisted when it came to women and not once had I questioned myself about it. I was not only acting like my father – I was trying to be my father.
The other fact of the matter was, my father has now moved on, he’s one with The All, yet I am still stuck and allowing the past to dictate my present actions.
“Like my soul mate?” I asked.
I had heard that term in movies and conversations with other friends in high school but I truly never gave it much thought. If anything my mentality and experience was to have as much sex with as many women as possible. I was 17 years old and everything that I had learned up to that point from my father and from my male friends was just that, you’re a male therefore each vagina you penetrate is a trophy on your mantle.
I tried my best to be faithful to Sylvia, the mother to my son. The reality was that I would give into my sexual desires every time and then accept it as my truth. “Well I am my father’s son,” I would tell myself.
As it is, a week earlier before we visited my father so he could meet our newborn baby, while in school, Sylvia came marching towards me with a girl tied to her hand.
“Is it true? Are you hooking up with her?” Sylvia yelled.
I found myself reenacting my father’s footsteps and behavior – I lied.
“I do not know who this girl is, what are you talking about?” I said as I looked at the girl with desperate eyes to keep her mouth shut.
Sylvia looked at her then she looked at me. All I remember is Sylvia punching me square in the face and tackling me to the floor.
As I thought about this experience an epiphany unfolded - It was all too familiar. I was asking for the same violence, mental and physical abuse I would see my parents go through growing up.
I came out of my mental thoughts and memory and asked, “So I won’t be with Sylvia in the future?”
“Why wouldn’t you be?” Eight asked.
“Because you’re essentially saying I will meet my soul mate in the future,” I said.
“Why does it have to be sexual or physical? A soul mate could be a close spiritual ally and nothing more,” Eight explained with a smile.
I was starting to understand that I had my perspective twisted when it came to women and not once had I questioned myself about it. I was not only acting like my father – I was trying to be my father.
The other fact of the matter was, my father has now moved on, he’s one with The All, yet I am still stuck and allowing the past to dictate my present actions.
Concept Art for The Crow's Aura.
RSS Feed