“Then we are in agreement that it is easier said than done, right?” my father asked.
There was a pause.
I began to understand what he was saying at a deeper level. He was teaching me about compassion for others and to not judge so strongly, because we truly never know what battle that person you’re upset at is facing with his own mental upheavals. The other side of his words was to confront my own attachments, he was right. Anytime I felt that I was going to miss or loose something or someone, I would end up frozen with fear and my ability to move forward was non-existent. Come to think of it, my fears became reality, I lost my brother to the Voice and during all this time that I have been looking for my brother – I’ve lost contact with my own son.
The more I thought of what my dad was saying, the more I understood his last points which he hit on the nail for me – acceptance and forgiveness. I truly did not want to accept my upbringing and my parents’ divorce. I felt I was the victim of my father and mother’s dysfunctional and violent relationship yet, I would rather have that instead of them parting ways. Opposing views that clashed yet I wanted both. Although, all my troubles stemmed from my own mental battles – I did not know if I was ready to accept lest alone forgive.
Then I answered, “ Yes, you’re totally correct Dad.
“But one thing I’ve been learning from all this is that I have a lot of inner power, a lot of ancestors and guides are taking care of me. Why then even bother with forgiveness?” I asked with a bit of arrogance.
“That is great Son, but we are living on earth and we have a responsibility to that. You might have spiritual allies but you will continuously loose your connection due to your mental and spiritual suffering. Forgiveness is your function and your responsibility to the world. Without that, you, me and everybody in the world will not be able to be in a positive creative state of being – that alone will prohibit us from seeing the spirit realm. Yes, there are other methods to see the unseen, there’s drugs, alcohol, sex, meditation and praying for instance but all will falter as well if we have not forgiven.”
“Do you know why I have been stuck for such a long time?” he asked
Before I could answer, my father continued, “My problem is this Son, I cannot excel in life because I cannot let go of the past. I cannot let go of the past because I have not forgiven. I have not forgiven because I have not accepted what is and what has been my situation and for that I have been in mental disarray. One of the things that brings me happiness is having a drink of beer. I distort it because I then feel I don’t deserve to be happy. Seeing your Uncle Esteban in the subway station has given me a breath of fresh air. I now see that I need to start by forgiving myself then ask forgiveness from those that I have hurt including you, your mother and sisters.”
There was a pause.
I began to understand what he was saying at a deeper level. He was teaching me about compassion for others and to not judge so strongly, because we truly never know what battle that person you’re upset at is facing with his own mental upheavals. The other side of his words was to confront my own attachments, he was right. Anytime I felt that I was going to miss or loose something or someone, I would end up frozen with fear and my ability to move forward was non-existent. Come to think of it, my fears became reality, I lost my brother to the Voice and during all this time that I have been looking for my brother – I’ve lost contact with my own son.
The more I thought of what my dad was saying, the more I understood his last points which he hit on the nail for me – acceptance and forgiveness. I truly did not want to accept my upbringing and my parents’ divorce. I felt I was the victim of my father and mother’s dysfunctional and violent relationship yet, I would rather have that instead of them parting ways. Opposing views that clashed yet I wanted both. Although, all my troubles stemmed from my own mental battles – I did not know if I was ready to accept lest alone forgive.
Then I answered, “ Yes, you’re totally correct Dad.
“But one thing I’ve been learning from all this is that I have a lot of inner power, a lot of ancestors and guides are taking care of me. Why then even bother with forgiveness?” I asked with a bit of arrogance.
“That is great Son, but we are living on earth and we have a responsibility to that. You might have spiritual allies but you will continuously loose your connection due to your mental and spiritual suffering. Forgiveness is your function and your responsibility to the world. Without that, you, me and everybody in the world will not be able to be in a positive creative state of being – that alone will prohibit us from seeing the spirit realm. Yes, there are other methods to see the unseen, there’s drugs, alcohol, sex, meditation and praying for instance but all will falter as well if we have not forgiven.”
“Do you know why I have been stuck for such a long time?” he asked
Before I could answer, my father continued, “My problem is this Son, I cannot excel in life because I cannot let go of the past. I cannot let go of the past because I have not forgiven. I have not forgiven because I have not accepted what is and what has been my situation and for that I have been in mental disarray. One of the things that brings me happiness is having a drink of beer. I distort it because I then feel I don’t deserve to be happy. Seeing your Uncle Esteban in the subway station has given me a breath of fresh air. I now see that I need to start by forgiving myself then ask forgiveness from those that I have hurt including you, your mother and sisters.”
Concept Art for The Crow's Aura.
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