“This is it, we’re here,” I said with a feeling of happiness. “I think I’m starting to get the hang of this whole traveling system.”
We stepped out of the train and my father was speechless. His face was glowing with awe.
“Come on Dad, we need to get you to the Sacred,” I said.
“Look at that sky Son, look at those magentas, the rose pinks and celestial blues. Those violet tones is were I want to live,” he said.
“I’m with you Dad, I saw this sky earlier and thought and experienced something very similar to what you’re saying,” I said
“It is moments like these that give me so much clarity and understanding Dad, then that clarity slowly fades,” I then continued, “See you’ve always told me to not think if thinking hurts me, what does that truly mean? I feel like I understand sometimes then other times I don’t understand a thing. Or the other thing you tell us all - let go of the past and live in the now. How can you let go of the past? Can you let go of the past or do you hide from it with your drinking?” I asked with clarity.
“Now, because I am an alcoholic and have my own excuses of why I can’t stop thinking negative and I can’t let go of my past, does that mean that you can’t do it because I can’t?” he asked.
“You’re attached to everything Son, including your past. You choose to not let it go because the moment you do, you miss it. So you’d rather keep it alive in your present moment so you have something that has been a part of you for your whole life – something that is familiar to you, pain and suffering,” my father answered. “Those moments of clarity are signs that you are wanting to let go of all that mental clutter and pain, and you do but then as time moves forward, you begin to miss the feeling of pain and mental upheaval that you then resurrect it, let it go Son.”
“I accept and understand that I am an alcoholic. I realize that I take something beautiful as enjoying a drink of beer and make it ugly by binge drinking. This is the same for everything in life. What are YOU experiencing that is beautiful but then make it ugly by abusing it?” my father asked.
“Painting, I love painting but I am using it to vandalize other peoples property. It’s something beautiful that I am now making into an illegal act,” I replied.
“So then stop,” he said
“I can’t! I feel that is all I have. After you and my mother divorced, me painting in the streets was the only thing that kept me sane,” I said.
“It was a way for me to leave you messages and at the same time heal,” I said with a knot in my throat as my eyes filled with tears.
Page 37
We stepped out of the train and my father was speechless. His face was glowing with awe.
“Come on Dad, we need to get you to the Sacred,” I said.
“Look at that sky Son, look at those magentas, the rose pinks and celestial blues. Those violet tones is were I want to live,” he said.
“I’m with you Dad, I saw this sky earlier and thought and experienced something very similar to what you’re saying,” I said
“It is moments like these that give me so much clarity and understanding Dad, then that clarity slowly fades,” I then continued, “See you’ve always told me to not think if thinking hurts me, what does that truly mean? I feel like I understand sometimes then other times I don’t understand a thing. Or the other thing you tell us all - let go of the past and live in the now. How can you let go of the past? Can you let go of the past or do you hide from it with your drinking?” I asked with clarity.
“Now, because I am an alcoholic and have my own excuses of why I can’t stop thinking negative and I can’t let go of my past, does that mean that you can’t do it because I can’t?” he asked.
“You’re attached to everything Son, including your past. You choose to not let it go because the moment you do, you miss it. So you’d rather keep it alive in your present moment so you have something that has been a part of you for your whole life – something that is familiar to you, pain and suffering,” my father answered. “Those moments of clarity are signs that you are wanting to let go of all that mental clutter and pain, and you do but then as time moves forward, you begin to miss the feeling of pain and mental upheaval that you then resurrect it, let it go Son.”
“I accept and understand that I am an alcoholic. I realize that I take something beautiful as enjoying a drink of beer and make it ugly by binge drinking. This is the same for everything in life. What are YOU experiencing that is beautiful but then make it ugly by abusing it?” my father asked.
“Painting, I love painting but I am using it to vandalize other peoples property. It’s something beautiful that I am now making into an illegal act,” I replied.
“So then stop,” he said
“I can’t! I feel that is all I have. After you and my mother divorced, me painting in the streets was the only thing that kept me sane,” I said.
“It was a way for me to leave you messages and at the same time heal,” I said with a knot in my throat as my eyes filled with tears.
Page 37
Concept Art for The Crow's Aura.
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