After a long day of organizing our trip and driving into the mountains of Colima, everything fell into its place just as Dicer had previously mentioned. We all sat outside the cabin in a circular formation at the top of a hill overseeing the rest of the green landscape, which was covered with lush mountains. The cabin, the people, the fresh medicinal mushrooms and a clear intention to find the answers to heal were all encased within the mountains of Colima.

We all spoke to each other with the aim to get further acquainted. Raul, the oldest one between us, who was across from me was a sorcerer’s apprentice. Octavio who was next to him was a younger man who lived in Colima and frequented his family’s cabin to make it available for ceremonial rituals as the one we were about to partake in. His whole purpose was to be of unconditional service to those who sought him. Racso, who picked us up at the bus station and drove us into the mountains, organized the entire thing with Dicer.  He sat next to Octavio. He was a light worker and healer who traveled extensively throughout Mexico providing his services to people who wanted to heal and evolve into their best version of self. I sat next to him. To my right was Bunnee and Galaxy. And next to them was Dicer who I consider to be a grey sorcerer because he exists in the center of any circumstance. He can both go to the light and lead you to it or he can take you into the depths of darkness if you so desire. Either way, he always goes back to his center state of being. Never stuck on either side.

The sunset passed and the nighttime arrived bringing forth a lot of magic. Thunder and lightning gave us all an audio and visual alimentation to our body and souls. The indigenous animals began to communicate. As if that was his cue, Octavio stood up and began to prepare the water for the tea and placed the mushrooms in the center next to the fire that burned.

“It is time we began. As much as I would love to facilitate this sacred ceremony, it will not be me. I need you, the one that will guide us tonight to step forward,” Racso said.

I looked around. All the men sat still looking into the fire. Then I noticed that the fire was wavering towards Bunnee. The light of the fire and the lightning intensified on her face. She looked angelic. Half her face was in red tones due to the fire and her other half was in blue tones due to the lightning, I could not stop staring at her.

“I’ll facilitate this ceremony,” Bunnee firmly said.

She grabbed the mushrooms and began to wash them in water. As she cleansed them from the dirt they carried she would say a prayer. Everything that she did, she did in prayer. That prayer became a song. Her voice was angelic – the words that channeled through her were divine truth.  

I then recognized her voice. She was the angel I would hear singing in the background of some of my time-traveling experiences. Eight and Thirty-Six had told me that I would meet her at crucial time of my life. They were right.  


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Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

The next morning, we gathered our bags and headed to the bus terminal. We were on route to the mountains of Colima.

We all sat next to each other on the bus, which gave me the opportunity to share my dream with Bunnee and Dicer.

“Do you believe that as true, that you self-sabotage?” Dicer asked.

“I’ve been thinking about this actually for some time now. Both Bunnee and I have had our suspicions that I do in fact do that. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all old conditioning and habits that I have yet to get rid of. It leaves me no other option but to confront my hidden past. I need to confront my past in order to understand what exactly is the problem although it is deeply buried in my subconscious,” I said.

“Mushrooms are said to open your being completely, at that point you can choose to self-destruct or accept what you are experiencing as your current circumstance no matter the effect,” Dicer explained as he looked at me.

“So to not waiver to any emotion as the Golden Cat mentioned, right?” I asked openly.

“Right. You know that I am into esoteric symbolism, magic and astronomy to name a few subjects of my interest. What I’ve come to learn is that painting abstraction is very similar to the way The All came to be – chaos. Chaos is then organized into beautiful, conscious, enlighten alignment,” Dicer explained.

“Do you think we as human beings need to work with the chaos and shape it as we see fit?” I asked intrigued by what he was sharing.

“Of course, look at your own paintings, they are intuitive, abstract paintings that are chaos at the core. They are chaos that you patiently work out to create a portrait of somebody. Is that not what you have been doing all these years?” he asked.

“Shit, I never thought about it that way, I have always related my abstraction as energy frequencies but the fact of the matter is that the outcome is always chaotic in the beginning,” I said.

“But you allow, accept and…” Dicer said as he waited for my response.

“Trust. That trust then becomes 100% certainty that everything (the abstraction) will align perfectly with the portrait I embellish. And it always does,” I said in a surprised tone as I listened to Dicer untangle my thinking and my painting process. 


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Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

That night I slept and dreamt of the Golden Cat. I followed his lead as we playfully ran through the dark alley jumping on boxes and pushing ourselves off of the walls that surrounded us to gather more momentum.

Then he randomly stopped running in mid step and faced me. I couldn’t stop laughing. I was having such a great time running so freely. I looked at his circular eyes and realized that his energy was now playful and joyful unlike the first time I had met him in my dream. But that did not last long, not because of him but because of me.

“I’m sorry Stinky. I am sorry that I was not there to take care of you. I could have possibly avoided your death,” I said as my feelings changed drastically.

The Golden Cat looked at me and caressed my face with his paws. Then without any warning, he scratched my face, deeply as he let out a hiss.

“Don’t be stubborn Crow, you know better than that. Why do you do that to yourself? Why do you allow your attachments and your emotions to get in the way of what you clearly know as truth?” he asked.

“I think that my emotions allow me to truly experience and understand myself and fellow man,” I said as I rubbed my face to calm the pain.

“As beautiful and romantic as that sounds, that is false Crow. Your emotions get in the way of your own advancement as a human being. Every time that you are in a moment of advancement you self-sabotage and it’s all due to one main source of your being – your emotions,” he said. He then continued, “If you would be mindful to just be neutral no matter the situation then you’ll obtain the most knowledge and learning experiences from any situation. Always be centered and do not waver to either side of emotions. This will give you the access to see with clarity. Wherever you saw road blocks in the past you will now see opportunities and ways to get to where you need to get to.”

“Think about it this way Crow, you have a 2 year old daughter correct?”

“Correct, I do,” I said.

“Have you noticed how she goes from one extreme emotion to another extreme emotion within seconds?”

“Yes, I have witnessed that countless times,” I said.

“You essentially did the same thing just moments ago. You went from feeling deep joy to feeling deep anguish within a matter of seconds. The only difference is you’re 34 years old. Crow you’re acting like a child that has no understanding and capability of balancing your own emotions,” the Golden Cat said. 

                                                       ∞
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Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

I slowly stood and as I regained my balance to walk Dicer gave me some great news, while I was lying on the floor reflecting and immersed in my past memory, he was on his cell phone preparing and organizing our next move. He had obtained a wall for both of us to paint. The timing and alignment of all was impeccable.

Bunnee overheard the good news and asked where the location of the building we were going to paint was. Once Dicer explained the way to get there, she gave me a kiss goodbye and strolled away with Galaxy to explore the streets of Guadalajara. The gypsy girl I had met years earlier had not lost her traction to experience life at its fullest.

Once we purchased some paints and supplies, we stood in front of the wall we planned to paint.

“What are you envisioning on painting?” Dicer asked.

“A spirit guide,” I said. “We should split the wall space in half and create a large scale face. Half of it is your sorcerer or “mago” and the other half will be my spirit guide. We can then have its hands giving symbols of illumination,” I further explained.

I paused then continued, “If you’re open to it, we can layer on each others side of the mural. I usually like doing this to create synergy and it aids in humbling the ego and bringing forward only what is pure and true of the artists,” I said with excitement

“I like it, I really like the idea of splitting the face in half and showing that the duality in things is nothing more but the same thing just different perspectives,” Dicer added. “Go ahead and start, I’ll integrate myself as I begin to feel my way thru your rhythm and beat of painting.”

“Ok, so you’re ok if I layer on both sides of the wall right?” I asked to confirm that we were both on the same note. “Correct, do what you do, I’ll start when I see fit,” Dicer said.

I asked Sassafras to join me and I invited the soul of master muralist, Jose Clemente Orozco to do me the honors and now use my brush to paint this wall that stood in front of me.

I took a deep breath and welcomed both of them in my temple. We began to dance as one. We sang but my body gestures and movements served as the voice to deliver the song via the roller and brushes I held in my hands.

Bright energy traveled through me and messages of love, light and positivity were spoken onto the wall. 

It must have been an hour or so later when I decided to come out from being submerged in the creative well and observed my surroundings. I smiled at what I saw, Dicer was getting ready, his spirit was moving in alignment with mine.

                                                           ∞


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Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

This memory made me confront another lifetime, another phase and face of my existence, one where I separated myself into many facets and my mind and my soul battled to be one with my self and The All.

I was the Man of Fire, chances where, I had traveled through Orozco’s brush to spread myself as paint onto the interior dome of the building to serve me as a reminder.

Now I knew why Dicer had me prepare for this moment, it’s as if he knew I was going to encounter my dreams, my ancestors, my reflection, my inner power and my dark past.

                                                            ∞


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Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

“We shall speak no more!” She stood up, tall and beautiful. Her leopard cape smoothly and gently unveiling the mixture of the armor she wears and her skin beneath it as the cape falls to the floor.

I don’t hesitate. I ignite my being out of fire, wings sprout from my back and I fly towards her. As I approach her, my hand creates a sword of fire while the Resurrector disperses a stream of energy that within it contains tamed souls.

I choose not to block the stream and I actually allow it to penetrate my being. The Resurrector smirks as if she is claiming her victory. I become one with the souls and we dance in a circular formation around the Resurrector. We stretch, bend and fold over to separate as if we are a chewy substance. We gather as one again and my flames burn higher and hotter than ever before. We go back to where we came from. The sword of fire goes right through her chest and we the souls follow, creating a scene like that of bees around a honey comb, attacking it for its sweetness.

Suddenly she disappears and I look around. I see the night become day and the pale trees grow leaves as the sand has grown grass and the Crystal Mansion becomes a house where a spring door opens and the Ressurector walks out.

“How did you beat me? I had my followers, my beaten souls and you turned them against me in order to strike your sword,” her voice trembled.

“Your souls did not turn against you, you turned them against yourself,” I said. I then continued, “you chose to use them for ill will. We are all souls and creative minds, which are equal and diverse in there own dynamic way. I’ve come to learn that in order to be a leader you must be one with The All and your team will follow by example not by taming them.”

“Your captive souls realized I was one of them - a soul - a core of fire. They couldn’t go against one of their own. There is no separation as you’ve decided to create separation between your and them,” I yelled from the short distance.

“I underestimated you Crow I will now resurrect your mind,” she said

“What about the rest of my being,” I continued to yell.

“That will be determined by the rest of your parts, you’ve understood now as a soul that there is no separation from the whole of The All, but other parts of your being have still to realize and accept that truth. Those parts of you will need to fight their own battles as I can only resurrect not unite,” she softly said.

I began to weep as I came back to my present moment. I was lying on the floor at the center of Orozco’s mural “Man of Fire” inside Hospicio Cabañas in Guadalajara. Observing and experiencing the beauty of this mural, reminded me of my much avoided past. 

Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

The next morning we woke up extra early because we wanted to get ahead of schedule so when Dicer woke up we’d be ready. But as I was getting my clothes ready for the shower, I heard a voice coming from Dicer’s art studio “Crow, Croooooww.” It sounded like an old lady speaking. I looked inside the room and it was Dicer, he was showered and ready to go.

“What time did you go to bed bro?” I asked.

“I didn't I rarely sleep, its one of those things that I just don’t do much of,” he said.

I looked at him for a moment waiting to hear him say it was just a joke. He didn’t, he was quite serious.

Bunnee, Galaxy and I all showered together. We figured we’d be quick so we could get going with the rest of the planned activities for the day.

We walked several blocks away from the house when Dicer pointed to a restaurant that was coming up on our left hand side.

“They serve good food. It’s kind of a fancy spot but all in all they have some of the best coffee in town,” Dicer told us in an Englishman-type character as his hands made allusive gestures.

“Lets do it,” Bunnee said. “I love to try different foods in the places we travel to.”  

Not only was the coffee delicious but so were the chilaquiles. After breakfast we started to walk towards the main road where we ended up catching a taxicab.

“Where to?” asked the taxi cab driver.

“Hospicio Cabañas” replied Dicer. “Have you ever seen the murals of Orozco or any of the Big Three?”

“Never,” I responded.

“Well then use this time from here until we get there to prepare yourself. You will need complete presence and focus to absorb the power that these murals contain,” Dicer explained as he looked back at me from the front passenger seat.

                                                           ∞


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Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

In an alley-like environment with very dim light I saw a golden light approaching me. It got closer and closer to me, then the light came into focus. It was a golden furred cat, very big in size and its energy was very intense. As it got closer, the feeling intensified. His eyes connected with mine, he jumped towards me.

I literally woke up as I jumped to my feet in a ready to fight position. I looked around and did not recognize where I was.

“You’re ok baby come back to bed,” Bunnee softly said. Then she continued, “I’ve been up listening to you, you’ve been mumbling and moving a lot, I did not want to wake you but figured I’d keep an eye on you.”

I slowly began to relax and made my way back to the bed. I told Bunnee about the golden cat and we both wondered if it was our cat Stinky who had passed away months earlier.

Stinky was an orange tabby cat that was gifted to Bunnee from our good friend Pose 2. Pose 2 was traveling extensively around the globe painting murals that he decided to give Stinky up for adoption. Bunnee had gladly agreed to take Stinky home.

One afternoon, after having him in our lives for two years, Stinky was found dead in the sidewalk by one of our neighbor’s home. He was completely intact and his fur gleamed, but his soul was no longer present.

“Maybe he was trying to tell you something,” Bunnee whispered since everybody was still asleep.

“He looked like Stinky but I didn’t recognize his presence and demeanor as Stinky’s. This golden cat had very intense energy,” I responded.

“It could be that he was introducing you to your own fear and telling you to confront it face to face by taking on the form of a golden cat,” she said.

“But what fear do I need to confront? I am good and clear with myself,” I expressed.

“Your past Crow, you have a huge disconnection from it. You’ve told me about the Sacred, The Entity or Sassafras, the Homeless Man, your Grandmothers and all these other extraordinary beings you’ve encountered. Yet, it sounds like you’ve purposely disconnected from them as if your intention was to self-destruct,” Bunee expressed.

“Why would I do that? That makes no sense. I have explained to you exactly what happened and how it happened while I was in the mountains of El Paso. Time just flew by – 17 years to be exact,” I said.

“Is that you speaking or is that what the Voice wants you to think and say?” Bunee interjected. 

                                                             ∞


                                                                                                            Page 76

Once inside his home, which was inside an office building-like structure, I asked him where we could find a nearby hotel.

“There is no chance of that, you and your family will stay here – you are all my guests. I have prepared the guest room and tomorrow we can go purchase some food to cook. As it is, I’ve taken time off from my work so we can go site seeing, paint and maybe even go to into the mountains of Colima for some fresh hallucinogenic mushrooms. You’re into mushrooms right?” he asked.

I looked at Bunnee and Galaxy as she was trying to pet Dicer’s dog.

“No, actually I’ve never tried mushrooms but it is something that Bunnee and I have talked about because she’s tried them in the past and I came to the conclusion that I am open to trying them in a respectful and sacred ceremony situation, but to try them just for kicks, I am not interested,” I said nervously.

“Perfect, my friend Racso will guide us into the mountains, there we’ll get some fresh mushrooms and someone will guide the sacred ceremony,” Dicer calmly replied.

“Someone, as in someone you know?” I asked.

“The right set of people will gather organically for this sacred event. I do not know who but I’m seeing that it will happen for you,” he said as he was taking out some of his original paintings to show me.

When he said that, I knew that my guides and my truth where in alignment with my journey. This man spoke exactly what I had previously discovered in myself, to trust self and my given circumstance.  

He was the person that I would align with in that moment to continue my work of positivity, love and light.

                                                           ∞

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Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

I have created collections of canvas paintings before. Thankfully, I have documentation and photos to prove it to myself and aid me in remembering. But something about this particular collection had me really looking deep within myself. I compared the differences between the experiences then I realized what it was – it was just that – my experiences – I accepted and trusted my current circumstance and I had so much to give that I was ready to share with the world at a deeper level.

One other thing that Bunnee brought to my attention was that the previous year, I had decided to travel globally to paint murals and give life-skill workshops in diverse communities. The traveling alone had added so much texture and richness to my life. One experience in particular that according to Bunnee, changed everything about me was the day both her and I participated in an intimate and sacred ceremony with Dicer, a man I met via a mutual friend in Guadalajara, Mexico. 

The memory unfolded in sequences.

I had emailed my friend Spel about my plans to go to Guadalajara. Spel had arrived from there several months prior as he had lived there for almost a year. In my email, I asked him if there was anyone he recommended I could connect with and possibly paint a mural with.

While we waited to board the plane to Guadalajara, I noticed that he had responded. He gave me the contact information to one of his good friends, Dicer. Then below Spel’s email, there was an email from Dicer. I opened it and to my surprise, Spel had already written him with my contact information explaining that my family and I were on our way to Guadalajara. His email read:

“Hi my friend, call me when you get here, I will either go pick you up or tell you how to get to my home with a taxi-cab. Dicer.”

We landed in Guadalajara and even before they opened the doors to let us exit, I told Bunnee, “I love it here, I can just feel it.”

She smiled at me and we gathered our bags to exit the plane.

We decided to take a taxicab to Dicer’s house, when we arrived he was already waiting for us outside. He welcomed us and spoke to us in English. He asked me if I’d been to Guadalajara before and I responded in Spanish, “never, but it is gorgeous!” He looked at me and said, “you speak Spanish very fluently.” I laughed and said, “Yes, I am Mexican, my father and mother are both from Mexico. I was born in the border town of El Paso, Texas but raised in both El Paso and Juarez, Mexico.”

“Oh, thank God, I was really breaking my head on how I would communicate with you with my spotty English,” he expressed with excitement.

We all laughed.

Concept Art for The Crow's Aura.