A slender and tall man whom I have never seen opened the door. “Can I help you?” he asked.

“Yes, huh, is – is Sylvia home?” I asked completely baffled.

“There is no one here by that name sir,” he said politely.

“Do you know were the family that lived here previously moved to?” I asked.

“No sir, I’ve been here more than 10 years. When I moved here the place was vacant,” he said. “You ok sir, you seem really pale?”

All those days of clearing my thoughts seemed to have not worked because I was starting to feel really confused and my mind began to start racing with a lot of mental junk.

I took a deep breath and managed to gather myself. I then responded, “I’m fine, I must have the wrong address, thank you.”

I literally ran to my car. I knew I had the right address what I didn’t have was a clue of Sylvia’s and my son’s whereabouts. I started the car and drove towards my house like a maniac.

Driving down Shuster Street was always a bit of a rollercoaster; the street had several curves that had claimed others’ lives in the past. I looked in the rearview mirror to make sure there were no police around as I sped through the streets. I noticed that I looked older – much older. I made it home. I looked around for my mother’s car but there was nothing.

I ran to the door and tried to open it with my key, it did not work. I knocked several times – nothing.

“My aunt Vero!” I exclaimed.

My aunt who lived two apartments down was usually home so I ran to her house.

I knocked at the door. I could see her through the spring door getting up from the couch. I took a deep breath to gather my composure. If anybody knew where my family was, she would know.

“Gibri,” my aunt exclaimed with joy as she opened the door. “Long time no see son, how are you, how’s your family doing?”

“Hi aunt Vero, how do you mean?” I asked with my mind beginning to swirl. “Do you know were my mom is or the rest of the family?”

My aunt looked at me essentially how I was feeling – with a look of confusion. “Son, I haven’t seen you in 10 years or more. You live in San Diego, your father lives in Oklahoma, your mother, your sisters’ Cindy, Lily and your brother Josh all live in Albuquerque. The only one that lives here now is your sister Jody. You know that,” she said with concern.

Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

In those mountains of El Paso, I wrote and wrote non-stop. I lost track of time and would eat whatever I would find inside the scenic view trashcans. I was completely uninterrupted. Eight and Thirty-Six never showed up. I figured they were close by allowing me to grow and evolve.

In my notes, I wrote everything from what I value the most in life down to what I could care less about. I created my business plan as an artist, which included everything from art school to networking with galleries.

I wrote specific things in a question format such as:

1.    Who am I?

2.    Who is important in my life?

3.    How do I aim to feel?

4.    What type of business do I want?

5.    Who is speaking my ego or my truth?

Then out of those questions that I answered it inspired me to write my desires in life such as:

1.    Be tranquil.

2.    Be healthy.

3.    Be positive.

4.    Be peaceful.

5.    Have a strong family bond.

6.    Love others and myself.

7.    Be a great father.

8.    Travel the world

9.    Paint canvases and walls.

10.  Have wealth in all realms including money.

The more I wrote – the clearer and specific my goals and purpose became. Anything that was contradictory to each other, I would highlight then choose the one that made the most sense to keep. There was a lot of that.

I was untangling my mental web. It took time but it was very well worth it.

Then after what seemed like several days, I was finished. I had grown a beard and had not showered for days. I was looking thinner than usual but I felt good.

I looked around for Eight and Thirty-Six but they were nowhere to be seen.

I gathered all my writings and placed them in my backpack.

“I need to go see my son, its been days,” I thought to myself.

Within less than 10 minutes I arrived to Sylvia’s mother’s house. I knocked at the door and sensed somebody coming to the door.

I fixed my hair and had a bright smile as I waited for the door to open. 

                                                                                                             Page 51

Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

The 7, 35 and 13 year old versions of me all walked towards the man that stood in front and embraced them. Simultaneously, in all times and spaces I said, “Please forgive me, I beg that you forgive me. By hurting you, I have now only hurt myself,”

“I will never choose violence as a way to respond to any situation,” I said in all times and spaces.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. As I opened them, I found myself back in the seat of my car.

I realized I was on the subway train making stops at different times in my life. What I did not understand was how I managed to do that without being in a creative state of mind nor physically creating a pathway with my spray can. I was on to something.

Then, while continuing my self-introspecting something clicked – things started to make sense. I understood that all the diverse life lessons I was obtaining in my past, present and future moments, were starting to point directly at one bigger lesson, self-accountability in everything.

How can I love a woman if I still have no clue how to love myself? How can I give advise to my younger brother of what’s best for him if I myself do not know what’s the best for me? How can I speak to my entire family and ask for their help if I myself am not willing to help myself? How can I begin to untangle all of this that I am going through if I can’t even start to untangle my own personal issues? How am I going to raise my son when I myself am still acting and being a child myself? How can I be a part of the Sacred who is a bridge from Earth to the spirit realm if I am not in touch with either my physical lest alone my spiritual side? How can I help defeat the Voice if I myself summon him every day?  

It all points to one answer – start by being accountable of my own actions and consequences. The one responsible for me being here and in this situation is none other than me – I am responsible for my current state of being.

I started to breath heavily and with strenuous effort I said, “And I do – I take full responsibility for my actions and consequences,”

I began to shake. Saying those words out loud with commitment was very taxing on me but I was now feeling optimistic and envisioned my next step.

“I’m going to follow my father’s previous advice, to diagram my situation and take notes. I need to organize my thoughts, my feelings and emotions with the aim to be crystal clear of what it is I want in life for myself.” I said under my breath.  “Once I write all that information down, I can begin to work towards obtaining that which I desire and want,”

“Otherwise, the spirit and mind will by default do what you’re asking them to do – nothing,” I said to myself as I caressed my face. 


                                                              ∞

                                                                                                             Page 50

As I closed my eyes, enjoying the stillness of my clear moment, I took a deep breath and held it for five seconds.

Upon exhaling, I opened my eyes. I had somehow opened a pathway into a past moment in my life.

I was 7 years old in Juarez, MX. My mother and I were walking home from the market. We talked about the food she had just bought and the dishes she was going to make with it. I was grinning from ear to ear and skipping along to keep up with her fast-paced walk.

Suddenly, I felt something really strong approaching us. It was a type of energy that felt heavy. I looked forward and saw a man walking towards us. He was staring directly at my mother. His eyes moved up and down from her feet up to her face. I felt enraged. I clenched my fist and as he walked by he said, “Hey sweet thing…” Before he could finish his sentence, I gave him an uppercut punch on his testicles. He fell to his knees and could not find a way to breathe.

I felt scared and really ashamed for what I had done, I began to weep. Through my tears, I could see the man in front of me as a total blur.

                                                          ∞

I was 35 years old in London Derry, UK– I stood inside an art gallery and as I observed a painting, a man who was a little older than me began to talk to me. I turned my focus away from the painting towards him. I don’t know why but he decided to explain to me the violent history of the Sunday Bloody Sunday massacre. His words immediately became images in my mind. And those images gradually became a memory of a past life. I began to cry in front of the man and could hardly stand still. I listened to him with my full attention, not once turning away and listened to his words. I felt and saw that it was very possible that in a previous lifetime, I was responsible for taking another man’s life. Through my tears, I could see the man in front of me as a total blur.

                                                        ∞

I was 13 years old in El Paso, TX. I was washing my hands in the school bathroom. In the background, I heard the door open and footsteps approaching me. I looked up at the mirror in front of me and saw it was a school bully who’d been pestering me for several weeks. I kept calm and continued to rinse my hands. He came behind me and began to push me asking for me to fight back. I did not want to fight, part of me was scared for my own safety the other part of me was scared for what I would do to him. His push became a light punch to my back and his words became foul by the second. I turned to face him and without notice I began to hit him in the face and stomach. He cried for me to stop. I felt his pain and I began to cry with him. Through my tears, I could see the young man in front of me as a total blur.

                                                        ∞


                                                                                                             Page 49 

Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

I suggest you observe the situation at hand, understand what it is that the situation is trying to teach you then respond to that situation with clarity,” Eight said.

I was upset. I was in no state of mind to be taking any type of advice from him or anybody.

“Look, you are about to confront your mother and your entire family. You are going to explain to them that you need their help in another realm. How do think they are going to respond to that? The first thing they are all going to think is that you’re on drugs or that you’re going insane. That is why it is of key importance that you understand what I am saying so you can be prepared and most importantly – clear to deliver the message,” Eight said without emotion.

“How do I get rid of my emotions? I am like a time bomb ticking away and waiting for the right moment to explode,” I said as I began to weep.

“I can’t tell you the “how” because that varies from person to person. In other words, there is no particular formula to do this right. What I can tell you is, start by observing yourself – without judgment and without trying to change your thoughts. This will help you understand how you think, what thoughts travel through your mind on a constant basis. At that point, you can see for yourself what you feel is true to you and what is not. But you need to self-introspect and self-analyze – this would be my first suggestion since nobody is going to do it for you,” Eight said.

As we were speaking, I lost total focus and now we were driving by the mountains.

“Pull over right here at this scenic view point,” Eight said. “I need some time to take in some fresh air by myself,” he said.

“That makes two of us,” Thirty-Six said.

I pulled over and they both got out of the car. I looked away for a moment to gather my thoughts. As I was about to lash out at Eight with judgments and my anger, I looked back – they were both gone.

I sat in my car gazing over the streets of El Paso. In the far distance, I could see the mountainous roads of Juarez, Mexico. Both spaces were divided by a fictional line just as I was. I looked around in hopes of blaming somebody for my anger and emotional distress. I was alone. I began to observe my thoughts as Eight had previously suggested. After an hour of introspection, I saw it clearly – “It’s me, I’m to blame. There’s nobody else left to point the finger at but me.”

For the first time ever in my life, I wept out of joy. I had come to a bold realization - the mind if not taken care of properly and up-kept with goodness will program itself with negativity and poison. Some of the things the Voice feeds off of. 


                                                                                                             Page 48

As soon as I stepped foot outside of the train, I went into my present reality. I was now pressing my foot on the gas pedal of my 1970 Ford Mustang. Eight was in the front passenger side and Thirty-Six was in the back seat behind Eight. Both got rid of the many layers of letters, symbols, abstractions and geometry and took the form of teen-age human beings.

“You guys are looking good,” I said jokingly while I observed them both and simultaneously paid attention to the road I was driving on.

We were on the I-10 freeway in El Paso, TX heading East towards my home, which was close to the downtown area.

“Before we head to your house, let’s make a quick stop at the convenience store, lets see if we can get an adult to buy us a six pack of beers,” Eight said trying to keep from laughing.

“What, get out of here bro what are you talking about?” I said in disbelief.

“What? I’m a grown ass man and an ancient soul trapped at the moment in a teenagers body, I enjoy a couple of beers here and there when I’m on earth,” Eight said

I felt that my father had been struggling with alcoholism and because of that my upbringing was unpleasant. Now, Eight was sharing with me that he could use a drink the minute we set foot on Earth. I must have voiced my thought because Eight then explained, “Listen Gibran, you are allowing the actions of others to affect you personally even though those actions have nothing to do with you. You’re judging this experience with your own previous experiences that feel sour to you.”

“Well in this case it does affect me because you’re asking me to take you to the convenience store so you can ask an adult to buy you alcohol. I want nothing to do with that situation,” I said while trying to contain my anger.

“So this situation is a negative situation?” Eight asked.

“Yes, because you’re trying to manipulate the idea that you’re an older person trapped in a teenager’s body, but the reality is, that at the moment – you are a “teenager,” I said breathing loudly.

“Could it have been possible for you to just tell me “no” as your response instead of you almost having a breakdown? See the problem is that you are allowing your past to speak for you. Your accumulated pain then takes over and before you know it, you’re creating even more pain and suffering for yourself. When in all reality, you could have given me a clear and simple “no,” Eight said.

“Start by understanding that every situation is just a situation – they are not negative or positive – they are situations that all need to be responded to. It is your choice on how you want to respond. 


                                                                                                             Page 47

Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

The subway train stopped and several beings got off. Right before the doors closed, 3 women’s’ souls entered the train.

I looked at Eight and Thirty-Six and said, “They seem very familiar to me, yet I’ve never met them,”

All six of us stood grabbing onto the train’s handrails as it traveled shakily at high speed.

Neither Eight nor Thirty-Six had a chance to answer, all 3 women’s souls were staring right at me. I smiled not knowing what to do or think. I looked down out of sheer bashfulness.

“Hi, I’m Magia, the one to my left is Priscilla and the one to my right is Galaxy,”

“You don’t remember us do you?” Magia asked.

“Of course he doesn’t, we still have not been born,” Priscilla said.

“But he should remember us since we’re part of his soul group,” Galaxy said defending Magia.

“You two are too much sometimes,” Priscilla said jokingly. “He can’t remember us at a soul level because of all the layers of skin and organs, they affect his memory of the truth,”

I was now looking straight at them, paying close attention. Eight and Thirty-Six stood by my side completely in silence.

Still not completely clear on my perspective of women I asked, “Will you girls be my girlfriends in the future?”

“Eeew, no, don’t be a weirdo, all three of us have agreed and decided to be your daughters at one point in your present life,” Priscilla said.

“Wait, what? I don’t even know how to treat a woman, lest alone a daughter. Shit, I’m still trying to figure out how to raise my newborn son, Isaias,” I said.

“Then you better get to work at clearing yourself of all your mental and emotional points of views towards women and start creating some new ones that have integrity and respect. Trust me, between us three, we will be strong reminders of how to take care of women and how to raise a child,” Galaxy said.

The train stopped.

“This is us, we need to exit,” Eight said.

All three girls waved. 

“See you on the flipside,” Priscilla said smiling and holding out a peace sign with her hand.  


                                                                                                             Page 46

Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

“You will meet her at the right time in your life. Both of you have traveled and lived countless lives together, each time learning in rich quantities,” Eight explained.

“Like my soul mate?” I asked.

I had heard that term in movies and conversations with other friends in high school but I truly never gave it much thought. If anything my mentality and experience was to have as much sex with as many women as possible. I was 17 years old and everything that I had learned up to that point from my father and from my male friends was just that, you’re a male therefore each vagina you penetrate is a trophy on your mantle.

I tried my best to be faithful to Sylvia, the mother to my son. The reality was that I would give into my sexual desires every time and then accept it as my truth. “Well I am my father’s son,” I would tell myself.

As it is, a week earlier before we visited my father so he could meet our newborn baby, while in school, Sylvia came marching towards me with a girl tied to her hand.

“Is it true? Are you hooking up with her?” Sylvia yelled.

I found myself reenacting my father’s footsteps and behavior – I lied.

“I do not know who this girl is, what are you talking about?” I said as I looked at the girl with desperate eyes to keep her mouth shut.

Sylvia looked at her then she looked at me. All I remember is Sylvia punching me square in the face and tackling me to the floor.

As I thought about this experience an epiphany unfolded - It was all too familiar. I was asking for the same violence, mental and physical abuse I would see my parents go through growing up.

I came out of my mental thoughts and memory and asked, “So I won’t be with Sylvia in the future?”

“Why wouldn’t you be?” Eight asked.

“Because you’re essentially saying I will meet my soul mate in the future,” I said.

“Why does it have to be sexual or physical? A soul mate could be a close spiritual ally and nothing more,” Eight explained with a smile.

I was starting to understand that I had my perspective twisted when it came to women and not once had I questioned myself about it. I was not only acting like my father – I was trying to be my father.

The other fact of the matter was, my father has now moved on, he’s one with The All, yet I am still stuck and allowing the past to dictate my present actions. 

Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

“I never committed suicide – that’s the story that was given to my friends and family by The All in order for me to be a part of the Sacred Society. It was a way for me to be let go by everybody so I can then be completely devoted to the Sacred,” Thirty-Six said.

“So you chose to leave Earth completely?” I asked. “I thought one of the functions of the Sacred Society is to be a bridge between Earth and the spirit realm…”

Thirty-Six interjected, “And I do go back and forth to Earth just as I am doing now, I just chose to cut ties between my family and I. That’s a decision I made at a soul level, so they aren’t expecting me to come back. What they don’t know is that I do go back often times to visit them morphed as an older man or whatever I choose to be at that moment.”

“Exactly, I myself am still “active or alive” on Earth to do my work. Often times, I tell my friends and family I am going into the Topanga Mountains to get some fresh air by myself when in reality I am back in the Sacred Society,” Eight furthered explained.

“But isn’t that in a sense a lie and what if you need to leave but you’re surrounded by people?” I asked.

“Technically, it is not a lie because I do go into the mountains and my physical is being projected by The All once I leave. So even if someone was in front of me, all they would see is me closing my eyes, taking a deep breath and then opening my eyes again as I release my breath slowly through my nose,” Eight said.

“But what if your friend asks you questions or needs your physical help?” I asked.

“The All’s projection of me is essentially very similar to the “real” me, the only difference is – the projected me will be very aloof and it will seem like I’m living in my mind. Essentially because I’m not there,” Eight said.

“Ok, now regarding the subway station stops at different times in my life and different realms, are those just memories that I am viewing?” I asked

“Once you get out of the subway train you are in that moment. That moment is real to you. The only thing that saves you from staying their forever is your memory of who you are currently. So you can choose to leave at any time,” Thirty-Six explained. “That is why it is very important that you become a master mind of your own mind, so you’re always clear of who you are.

“So right now, there is a version of me being projected in my home by The All?” I asked.

“That is correct,” Eight said. “According to your family, you never left,”

“One other thing, who’s angelic voice was I hearing in both times and spaces we just visited?” I asked with excitement. 


                                                                                                             Page 44

Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

There was a beat in my mind, a rhythm I wanted to recreate with the guitar I held in my arms. I looked at Armando and said, “Ok, here it goes, add to it as you see fit,”

I allowed the rhythm that was playing in my mind to travel to my strumming of the guitar while my other hand moved with each of the chords’ melody.

Armando held his melodica close to his mouth and waited for the right moment to join. I could see that he was feeling his way through it. At one point, I lost my grasp on the present moment and I traveled with the rhythm that I was now channeling onto the guitar. My experience exemplified when I heard my friend Armando’s melodica’s soft and long whispers interlace perfectly with my guitar strumming. I could sense that we both had our eyes closed and we traveled together with the music we were creating intuitively.

In a distant room, there was an angelic voice that joined us - A woman’s voice.

I looked up and saw my reflection in the mirror that hung in front of me. I was about 30 years old and I seemed to be happy.

Eight, Thirty-Six and I jumped back into the subway train and we keep moving forward or backward. At that moment, it was hard to tell which way we were truly traveling.

Thirty-Six said, “a couple of stops, and we’ll get off there.” I smiled wondering if my smile now at 17 years old was the same as the one I had just seen on me when I was 30 some years old.

We arrived to our destination and hurried to get out.

We laughed so much. Cesar had given me a punch in the face but it was hilarious to me. I stood my ground mimicking a boxer and swerved side to side. He then came charging at me again, landing all his punches on my body and on my face. I laughed so hard that he stopped and laughed with me. As we sat down on the floor, we both took off our gloves and smiled. Cesar’s older brother held our hands up as if we both had won the fight. In a nearby room, we heard an angelic voice singing. Combined with our laughter - it was a sweet harmony.  I looked at myself in the mirror that was in front of me - I was about 7 years old.

We got back on the subway train and I looked at both Eight and Thirty-Six. I stared at them deeply then I understood what had just happened.

“Eight, you’re Armando a friend that I will encounter in my future and Thirty-Six you’re Cesar – my friend from the past. But, at 15 years old you committed suicide, so how could you be here as part of the Sacred Society?” I asked 


                                                                                                             Page 43

Concept Art for The Crow's Aura.