“Is the Voice gone, does he no longer exist?” I asked.

My father sat still across from me, staring at me as if analyzing my soul through my eyes.

“You tell me son, you seem to have no recollection that at one point you became one of the many host vehicles for the Voice. Just like your brother Josh and I were at one point,” he said after a slight pause. “What was manifested as a being which we know as the Voice is only a small glimpse of what he or it truly is. The Voice lives within us all, sometimes dormant and other times fully awake and functional. It is only a matter of time before he regenerates and finds a host that will give him a permanent home. That’s his purpose of existence,” my father explained.

I sat there listening to my father and I could feel myself go pale. Everything came back to me. I remembered my entire dark past. Those 17 years were no longer lost or spotty in my mind.

Irene started to stand up to give me comfort but my father signaled to her to let me be.

I understood why he did that. I needed to choose for myself how I wanted to respond to the unearthing of my dark past. It was clear as day, I felt ashamed for the things I had done in those 17 years but I also saw the powerful lessons and teachings it brought me. I had a millisecond to choose between my past or my present - my darkness or my light - the Voice or my truth – defeat or surrender – to continue the suffering or to enjoy my life. My millisecond was over. I made my choice.

“I am sorry father. I am sorry Irene. Please forgive me for hurting you. I am grateful to you both for giving me unconditional love,” I said as I held back the tears and looked at them both.

I took a deep breath and embraced myself. My decision – I forgave myself. The next step – to ask forgiveness from those I had previously hurt in the past. I lost no more time, I immediately started with my father and Irene.

Irene stood up and embraced me as we both gave Galaxy love and kisses.

“Gibri, Gibri,” my father called.

I pulled my focus back to him and I listened.

“The Voice is part of The All, son. It’s like the ego and it is not going anywhere because they provide contrasting lessons in life and important information. Our job is simple, just as you did now, we have to be mindful of who is speaking through us. We want to be sure that it is our truth and only our truth that speaks,” he calmly explained.

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                                                     End of Book 1

Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

The day came when your brother Josh showed up as a giant. He was enormous and caused havoc by breaking everything in sight,” my dad explained.

“Something told me though that he was just a strategic distraction and that the real enemy was unseen. No one could see the Voice. It then made sense to me, I knew what the Voice’s scheme was. His goal was to be as little and unseen as possible and spread like a virus onto all of us that were there. I knew his move but he did not know mine,” he explained with a slight smile.

“Within moments, I began to see how he affected the Sacred Society, both men and women fell to their knees and just allowed the Voice to go through. Then I felt him, he traveled through me and absorbed so much from me that I began to laugh with pure joy. I surrendered to the situation and did not pose any type of resistance. I accepted him with love and light,” he recalled.

“Josh’s layers started breaking apart into small pieces. Countless layers fell off and your brother got smaller by the second. The Voice kept taking more positive creativity and more love from the Sacred Society and I. I could hear him laugh and expressing how easy this was for him. I continued to thank him for the great opportunity for me to be of service to him.”

“He took in so much beauty and inner peace from us that he started to become inner beauty and inner peace.”

“At one point the Voice cried out, “Wait I’m supposed to take away creativity and positivity not become it. I’m supposed to be The All.”

“Then something profoundly magical happened, The All spoke.

“You are now The All. The All is beauty and inner peace – it is joy and happiness. It echoes the laughter of all of our children and ancestors but as it is light it is dark. We are The All.”

“The Voice and Josh went through an amazing cycle transforming from darkness to light. Through the vehicle of forgiveness, positive thinking and positive creativity have been restored back to its rightful owner. It is where it belongs, in all and in everything,” my Father said as he savored his beer and the story he was sharing. His eyes had a gleam and his lips creased to a devilish smile.

“What is it, why are you smiling, dad?” I asked.

“Because I fucked him up, the Voice had no chance against me, because he only aimed to be darkness. I’m like The All – both dark and light. You need to be son, God created everything including darkness. That’s why I now enjoy my beer but my beer does not consume me. Does that make sense?” He expressed as he took the last swig of his beer and cracked a pistachio open with his mouth. 


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“Time continued on Earth and the projected version of you moved with the tide. Your sister Lily asked you to move to Albuquerque, New Mexico to help her and her husband Paul with their growing construction business. Naturally, because you were not completely there in the present moment you moved based on our family’s suggestions. The main drawback was that you were truly not available spiritually nor mentally to Sylvia and your children or anyone for that matter.”

“It sounds like I was a puppet of sorts,” I said in a bothered tone.

“Well, yes and no. Yes because you are there just as a projection and no because our family did everything they could to help you. You need to remember that you chose to experience this and at that moment you were in alignment with your truth and with your soul. You wanted to be in the Sacred to save your brother Josh from the Voice and help the human race from getting their creativity completely stolen,” he said.

“But I didn’t know I was going to loose my family by doing so,” I refuted.

“Did you loose them or did they only move away to another state,?” he asked firmly. “We are back to square one son, your attachments and your ego have always clouded your view. Let me not start on forgiveness either,” he said.

“I tried to explain all this to you when you returned empty handed to the Sacred. But you did not listen to a word I said. You took it really hard when you learned that Sylvia and your two children had moved on and were making arrangements to move to Houston to live with Sylvia’s new boyfriend. At that point, I knew I had lost you to the Voice. So I asked Eight and Thirty-Six to take you back to the mountains where you could hopefully clear yourself from all the pain and suffering you were choosing to absorb,” he stated.

“Between your stages of depression and short-lived moments of joy, you managed to move to San Diego. Something that we are all thankful for to your friend Werc because he aided you to get out of Albuquerque,” he said.

I nodded in agreement as I took a swig of my beer.

 “So what did you do about the Voice, how did you defeat him,” I asked.

“I didn’t defeat him instead I used the same advice I have been giving you for years now. I chose to forgive, accept and offered him unconditional love and I maintained firm on my decision,” he said.

“The Sacred Society was almost entirely consumed by the Voice so to the few that remained, I asked them to do the same, to forgive, accept and offer unconditional love and they did.” 


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“To answer your first concern regarding visiting the Sacred, the Sacred did not deny you access nor blacklist you as you like to think. You did. Your soul understood that you as a human being were too fascinated and obsessed with the power and morphing capabilities of the Sacred. Your soul decided to redirect its energy onto its original purpose – to be of service to the human race so you could see and learn how much power and magic the human race including yourself have. You started to meet people like Irene, Dicer, Jonathan and the list extensively goes on,” he explained.

I remained quiet and showed my interest to keep on listening. He continued speaking.

“Now regarding the Voice and that moment in your life when you were 17 years old.”

“You did exactly as I had asked, you went back home to ask our family – our soul group for help. When you showed up you learned that you had gone back to earth being older, 17 years older to be exact and your own family had moved on.

What I failed to tell you was that time in the Sacred goes by at a different pace. Time in the Sacred is much slower than the time here on Earth but something else was part of your fleeting time lapse. The introduction of computers, cell phones, Internet and mass media have embedded a thought to a lot of humans that we live in a fast paced world which is also reinforced in schools and work environments. The mindset is that everything needs to get done as fast as possible no matter the costs. This mindset has become so widespread and powerful within the masses that it has created a shift in the revolutions of the earth. Therefore, time does goes by faster on Earth,” he said.

I raised my hand as if I was in school, my Father observed and granted me the permission to speak by opening a beer for me.

“Because it has been thought by the masses therefore it became a reality?” I asked.

“Correct, that is the true power of thought manifestation” my dad replied.

“One important thing to understand is that when you went to the mountains to seek clarity and later you re-entered the Sacred Realm to tell me about your findings in earth you were 17 years old, in the Sacred. In earth you were 34 years old. Does that make sense? The fact of the matter is that in the Sacred Realm you can be of any age and anything you choose to morph into as long as it is done with clarity and positivity. In other words, time does not really matter in the Sacred Realm son,” he said. 


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“What happened dad, please tell me,” I pleaded.

 “I’ve been trying to go back to the Sacred but the subway train does not allow me to make that stop any longer,” I told him. “I have met with the Homeless Man and my Grandmother Maria as well as Sassafras and other animal and bird guides, but all I gather from them is general information that does not help me bring closure to this whole experience with the Voice and Josh,” I said.

“Then, I have asked you over our phone conversations countless times to tell me what happened. You never do, why?” I asked.

We sat across from one another on the kitchen table chairs. He had a bag of pistachios open and a beer in front of him. Bunnee sat in the middle swaying herself to put Galaxy to sleep.

“Look there is a lot that happened and a lot that continues to happen. The people and guides that have tried to aid you to bring closure to your being have been unsuccessful for the same reason that the Sacred, your family, your friends and I have been unsuccessful to aid you. Do you know why that is?”

Before I could answer he interjected, “Remember that one time we saw your Uncle Esteban in the subway station? As he was leaving and waving goodbye I said something, do you remember what I said?” he asked.

“Yes, you said: “He’s not quite ready” Meaning I was not ready, ready for what though? I never understood your comment,” I expressed trying to avoid my frustration from showing.

“You were not ready to forgive, to accept your past, present nor future, to let go of your attachments, your ego, your constant wavering of extreme emotions – your connection to the Voice,” he said as his eyes widened.

“But I did let go of all that. I am clear of all that mental and spiritual clutter, dad,” I replied.

“Son, you are now here in my home and you are asking me to tell you what happened. I will tell you exactly what happened but I need you to listen and stop interrupting by defending your ego. Just listen. Do we have an agreement?” he asked.

“Yes,” I calmly replied.

“I am going to explain everything in a summarized way. Using simple and plain words so you can clearly understand,” my father said. 

Concept Art for The Crow's Aura. 

I hitched a small trailer onto my 2001 Ford Mustang that I had previously named Shakira. Unlike her older brother, the 1970 Ford Mustang – the Red Demon, Shakira had power and could pull the trailer without a problem, plus it is what I have available at the moment. I loaded it with the little bit of belongings we have.

We were moving forward with the decision to move to Houston, Texas so we could be closer to my 2 older children. Bunnee got in the car with Galaxy and said farewell to our home and San Diego.

We got on the I-8 freeway and we listened to some music at a low volume.

“So have you decided on what we talked about?” Bunnee asked me.

“Yes, my father agreed, we’re going to Guymon, Oklahoma to spend some time with him first. I need to understand exactly what happened in my past and how I feel I jumped 17 years ahead in time,” I said.

“Did you let Sylvia and the kids know that we are delaying our move a little bit?” she asked.

“Yes, they were cool with it. Plus, once we leave my father’s home, we’ll have plenty of time to heal as a family between Sylvia, Isaias, Priscilla and I.

Thank you my love for doing this with me,” I said to Bunnee as I kept my focus on the road.

“Its not just you that needs to do this, we need to do this. I have feared long enough of failing as a stepmother. I need to prove to myself that I am not only a great mother to my daughter but a great step mom to your children,” Bunnee said as she stared at me.

                                                           ∞


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My stare was fixed on Bunnee. I noticed Galaxy was asleep in Bunnee’s arms. The sight and feel of this magical moment brought forth the memory of Galaxy’s birth.

Bunnee and I were meditating inside the hot tub at the natural birth center. I don’t know how but Bunnee had the capability and capacity to take me inside the vastness of The All. There as souls, we both looked and waited for the arrival of our daughter Galaxy.

A glimmer of light came straight towards us. Outside in my physical, I could hear Bunnee yelling. The contractions were intensifying.

“My love, I will meet you and our daughter outside. I must go and tend to you in your physical,” I softly said.

“Bring our baby home,” I said as I traveled back to the physical.

Bunnee’s face glowed with tones of reds and blues. A yellow light beamed from her entire being dispelling hues of greens and oranges as it weaved with the red and blue toned glow.

I was witnessing the power of a woman first-hand and the message that God is a Woman came to me. With that message, our daughter Galaxy arrived. A meteor shower covered the sky that night of December, 13, 2010.

I came back to my present moment as I witnessed a falling star pass my point of view.

At that point, Bunnee began to distribute the mushrooms from right to left in circular formation. She held the last batch for her and I. We thanked each other and began to consume them.

Within moments as I stared into the skies’ lightning show, the chaotic clouds began to move and take the shape of a woman. The woman then morphed into a child. The child’s face grew in size and it began to get closer to me. As it moved towards me, the child’s face became the face of  “La Muerte” - death.

At that point, I had the choice to either collapse in fear or accept death. The truth was that death although big and intense was quite beautiful. Its mystery was engaging. I accepted my circumstance no matter the costs.

As I kept starting at death in the face it began to morph into The All – GOD.

Bunnee kept singing and I found myself dancing with her and now Galaxy was awake dancing with us. We all laughed and thanked God for creating us all from chaos to divine truth – that which is love. 

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After a long day of organizing our trip and driving into the mountains of Colima, everything fell into its place just as Dicer had previously mentioned. We all sat outside the cabin in a circular formation at the top of a hill overseeing the rest of the green landscape, which was covered with lush mountains. The cabin, the people, the fresh medicinal mushrooms and a clear intention to find the answers to heal were all encased within the mountains of Colima.

We all spoke to each other with the aim to get further acquainted. Raul, the oldest one between us, who was across from me was a sorcerer’s apprentice. Octavio who was next to him was a younger man who lived in Colima and frequented his family’s cabin to make it available for ceremonial rituals as the one we were about to partake in. His whole purpose was to be of unconditional service to those who sought him. Racso, who picked us up at the bus station and drove us into the mountains, organized the entire thing with Dicer.  He sat next to Octavio. He was a light worker and healer who traveled extensively throughout Mexico providing his services to people who wanted to heal and evolve into their best version of self. I sat next to him. To my right was Bunnee and Galaxy. And next to them was Dicer who I consider to be a grey sorcerer because he exists in the center of any circumstance. He can both go to the light and lead you to it or he can take you into the depths of darkness if you so desire. Either way, he always goes back to his center state of being. Never stuck on either side.

The sunset passed and the nighttime arrived bringing forth a lot of magic. Thunder and lightning gave us all an audio and visual alimentation to our body and souls. The indigenous animals began to communicate. As if that was his cue, Octavio stood up and began to prepare the water for the tea and placed the mushrooms in the center next to the fire that burned.

“It is time we began. As much as I would love to facilitate this sacred ceremony, it will not be me. I need you, the one that will guide us tonight to step forward,” Racso said.

I looked around. All the men sat still looking into the fire. Then I noticed that the fire was wavering towards Bunnee. The light of the fire and the lightning intensified on her face. She looked angelic. Half her face was in red tones due to the fire and her other half was in blue tones due to the lightning, I could not stop staring at her.

“I’ll facilitate this ceremony,” Bunnee firmly said.

She grabbed the mushrooms and began to wash them in water. As she cleansed them from the dirt they carried she would say a prayer. Everything that she did, she did in prayer. That prayer became a song. Her voice was angelic – the words that channeled through her were divine truth.  

I then recognized her voice. She was the angel I would hear singing in the background of some of my time-traveling experiences. Eight and Thirty-Six had told me that I would meet her at crucial time of my life. They were right.  


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The next morning, we gathered our bags and headed to the bus terminal. We were on route to the mountains of Colima.

We all sat next to each other on the bus, which gave me the opportunity to share my dream with Bunnee and Dicer.

“Do you believe that as true, that you self-sabotage?” Dicer asked.

“I’ve been thinking about this actually for some time now. Both Bunnee and I have had our suspicions that I do in fact do that. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all old conditioning and habits that I have yet to get rid of. It leaves me no other option but to confront my hidden past. I need to confront my past in order to understand what exactly is the problem although it is deeply buried in my subconscious,” I said.

“Mushrooms are said to open your being completely, at that point you can choose to self-destruct or accept what you are experiencing as your current circumstance no matter the effect,” Dicer explained as he looked at me.

“So to not waiver to any emotion as the Golden Cat mentioned, right?” I asked openly.

“Right. You know that I am into esoteric symbolism, magic and astronomy to name a few subjects of my interest. What I’ve come to learn is that painting abstraction is very similar to the way The All came to be – chaos. Chaos is then organized into beautiful, conscious, enlighten alignment,” Dicer explained.

“Do you think we as human beings need to work with the chaos and shape it as we see fit?” I asked intrigued by what he was sharing.

“Of course, look at your own paintings, they are intuitive, abstract paintings that are chaos at the core. They are chaos that you patiently work out to create a portrait of somebody. Is that not what you have been doing all these years?” he asked.

“Shit, I never thought about it that way, I have always related my abstraction as energy frequencies but the fact of the matter is that the outcome is always chaotic in the beginning,” I said.

“But you allow, accept and…” Dicer said as he waited for my response.

“Trust. That trust then becomes 100% certainty that everything (the abstraction) will align perfectly with the portrait I embellish. And it always does,” I said in a surprised tone as I listened to Dicer untangle my thinking and my painting process. 


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That night I slept and dreamt of the Golden Cat. I followed his lead as we playfully ran through the dark alley jumping on boxes and pushing ourselves off of the walls that surrounded us to gather more momentum.

Then he randomly stopped running in mid step and faced me. I couldn’t stop laughing. I was having such a great time running so freely. I looked at his circular eyes and realized that his energy was now playful and joyful unlike the first time I had met him in my dream. But that did not last long, not because of him but because of me.

“I’m sorry Stinky. I am sorry that I was not there to take care of you. I could have possibly avoided your death,” I said as my feelings changed drastically.

The Golden Cat looked at me and caressed my face with his paws. Then without any warning, he scratched my face, deeply as he let out a hiss.

“Don’t be stubborn Crow, you know better than that. Why do you do that to yourself? Why do you allow your attachments and your emotions to get in the way of what you clearly know as truth?” he asked.

“I think that my emotions allow me to truly experience and understand myself and fellow man,” I said as I rubbed my face to calm the pain.

“As beautiful and romantic as that sounds, that is false Crow. Your emotions get in the way of your own advancement as a human being. Every time that you are in a moment of advancement you self-sabotage and it’s all due to one main source of your being – your emotions,” he said. He then continued, “If you would be mindful to just be neutral no matter the situation then you’ll obtain the most knowledge and learning experiences from any situation. Always be centered and do not waver to either side of emotions. This will give you the access to see with clarity. Wherever you saw road blocks in the past you will now see opportunities and ways to get to where you need to get to.”

“Think about it this way Crow, you have a 2 year old daughter correct?”

“Correct, I do,” I said.

“Have you noticed how she goes from one extreme emotion to another extreme emotion within seconds?”

“Yes, I have witnessed that countless times,” I said.

“You essentially did the same thing just moments ago. You went from feeling deep joy to feeling deep anguish within a matter of seconds. The only difference is you’re 34 years old. Crow you’re acting like a child that has no understanding and capability of balancing your own emotions,” the Golden Cat said. 

                                                       ∞
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