I went to bed with something in mind that was bothering me a bit. For whatever reason – I could not understand why. I woke up, it was still in my mind - I still could not resolve it. I showered, meditated and prayed – nothing – this thing – this mental clutter was not going away. I was very mindful though to be clear of what I was experiencing and not try to pass that “issue” to someone else.  So, I gave my three girls a kiss and went to my art studio to paint.

Walked into the studio and I found myself at a halt. I could not seem to get past the “situation” in my mind. I don’t know exactly why but I got the smallest paintbrushes – something told me to start small and simple. To break down this (what seems to be) huge painting into a small painting where it is digestible.

I started to understand that I was now viewing the painting like a symbol of my mental “issue or situation”. I gathered colors and tones of reds, which to me are very sacred. I began to fill in small areas of the first canvas and slowly made my way across all of them.

Then as clear as daylight via the energy and spirit embedded and painted on the canvas paintings, I received a message from all the voices of my ancestors and the 6 elders I had previously interviewed. The message I received from them was - FORGIVENESS.

These are the steps I followed for me to come to the understanding and point of forgiveness.

1.     Observe the situation without judgment. Observing the situation without judgment on yourself or others begins to give you clarity of the situation.

2.     Accept the situation. By accepting the situation at hand you stop asking why it happened – you stop trying to make sense of it. The reason of why it happened is no longer of value.

3.     Forgive. Start by forgiving yourself – more often than not you feel responsible for the situation and it could be. Then forgive the other people involved in the situation. Ask for forgiveness from the other people (this could be done verbally or in your thoughts.)

4.     Remember. In the case that the situation comes back up physically or mentally, remember that you have already forgiven – so move on. No need to stick around and wait. Your work at that moment is done.

Here is an exercise that came to me that same day – it came from “A Course in Miracles – Workbook for Students”

Today, throughout the day as many times as you can, close your eyes and express this to yourself:

“Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world. I would fulfill my function that I may be happy.” 

Progress photos. 

Layers and layers of learning experiences. 

I’ve completed my 6 interviews and captured photos of the 6 people I will be painting portraits of. First phase of the process – translate and channel all the energy and data I gathered from them onto the canvas. Applying layers and layers of lifetime experiences. 

Second Phase coming up... 

Its so beautiful how all their stories and experiences interlace with one-another...

Today marks my 36th year of being alive and kicking – loving and rolling – with laughter and joy. Well that’s not all completely true, I’ve had to personally work at being happy and loving. It was something that I learned through my ups and downs in life as many of us call it. To be quite honest with you – I work at being the best version of myself on a daily basis. To be more accurate, I work at it on a moment-to-moment basis – it is work. Anybody that has been doing this for themselves will tell you, it is intense but the outcome is priceless.

A lot of mental and spiritual work is involved that at first (6 years ago) it took me a little while to commit. I realized that I was used to being negative, judgmental and carry poison with me. Like any other addiction it was very difficult to let that stinking thinking go.

It’s as if when I turned 30 – I turned on the super powered negative lever and boy let me tell you – I turned it on. Lol Fortunately for me, I’ve had a strong family and friend foundation that reminded me of my core – that which is LOVE.

My partner Irene and other strong women such as Yvette Valenzuela, Lily Barragan, Sylvia Nevarez, Priscilla “Nena” Lopez, Randi Killian and countless others have encouraged me to write – so I am – I’ve decided to share my personal journey via storytelling. I want you to get to know me at a deeper level – so you can then see the many reflections and similarities we share with each other. In my research, I’ve learned that this is true more often than not.

Here are the first 30 written pages with additional concept images of the characters and environments.

Celebrate my 36th birthday with me.

Shall we?

Come on in, you are welcome into my sacred space – my home – my being.

<3 

Late last year when I was in Trenton N.J visiting my friends and family - I met Lizzy Borden. She was really good vibe and chill to talk to. We talked about graffiti, art and Leon Rainbow's wildness. lol

Later once I was back home (in Albuquerque, NM at the time), via an email she asked me about doing a design for her company Humble Country. After several phone calls and emails - we both agreed it be an awesome experience. Here is the first design of (I hope) many that I do for Lizzy and her company. 

The Etsy shop is up and running :) 
go to: 

https://www.etsy.com/shop/HumbleCountry

Wolf - Tote 

Wolf Shirts for both men and women. 

Lizzy rocking the Wolf shirt. 

The Wolf Pack. 

About a month ago, my 3 year old daughter Galaxy looked at me and at her mother and said, "I want my own bed and my own room" Irene and I both laughed - it was just too cute and it was true - she does need her own bedroom now. 

So I started to look for a studio space I could rent leaving the second bedroom in our apartment home for our baby girl Galaxy. 

After searching for a good month or so - I found exactly what I need at this moment in time. Thanks to two good friends of mine for making it happen! 

As, I'm gathering my paints, supplies and equipment to take them out of my home and into the new studio space, I'm starting to already feel home-sick. lol. I really enjoy creating from my home because although I do not fully interact with my family at that time - I can hear Galaxy singing, dancing, having melt-downs amongst many other things. I see glimpses of my 3 girls as I walk by to get more coffee or get fed amazing food from my partner Irene. And of course the daily warm hugs I get from our 7 month old baby Magia. They juice me up with so much love it is rejuvenating. 

But, I have truly outgrown my home studio space and more importantly - my daughter Galaxy needs her own bedroom space too. She's getting older and is now looking for some breathing room of her own. lol  :) 

Off to pack some more paint and magic tools :) 

Remember to stay positive all day 24/7 for 7 days. 
ps.
I'm currently on my 6th day of 7 days of Positivity. 
All I can report at the moment is - I'm going full force with a smile in my face and in my heart. :) <3 

Today, Lets continue the positive rhythm and hug a friend when we encounter or meet them :) <3 

With some of my extended family at Chicano Art Gallery in Barrio Logan. L to R: Isaias Crow, David Avalos, Victor Ochoa, Tommie Camarillo, Armando de la Torre and Hector Villegas.